Monday, February 21, 2011

School sucks.
Well.. Homework sucks.
I actually like school. Shhh.
I didn't realize how much I missed learning. I like the taste of new ideas in my brain. I like forming arguments to support or disprove even when I don't actually have an opinion on what we're learning. I love forming a sentence that is beautiful. Does that even make sense?

The Boy is surprisingly supportive. Whenever we go out he proudly says "one adult and one student" and then hugs me and kisses me on the top of my head. It makes me smile. Although now that I think about it maybe it's not that he's supportive, maybe he's just cheap.

There are few things I regret in life. The break I took from school was partly from choice partly necessary. I didn't have parents that could pay for school. I also didn't have parents who taught me how to find scholarships. So as I watched my friends change their majors three times over and spend money and time on classes they didn't end up needing, I decided to wait until I knew what I wanted to do with my life before going back to school. Which resulted in a lengthy break from school.

But now I'm back. I decided to start with a community college, just to wet my feet. Going to a community college is a lesson in humility. Seriously. For the most part there are two types of people at a community college. The first is the angsty teenager except their adults type. My first day back in class I saw a goth. I haven't seen someone done up in goth since high school. I thought it was a rare sighting, something I should hurriedly snap a picture of and text to The Boy. Only it wasn't a rare sighting. Turns out I haven't seen any goths because they've all been hanging out in the smokers section of MCC. I see so many twenty somethings who are probably only going to class so they can stay on Mommy and Daddy's insurance. Maybe I am assuming too much. But I can't think of any other reason someone would go to class and never do the work. Which there are quite a few of in my class. They're not all goth. Some are punk, some are drunk, but all appear very lost and confused. The other type I see are the middle aged adults who are going back to school to improve their lot in life. They have bags under their eyes from doing work and school. I don't want to rag about them, but I have a hard time looking at them and believing that they will actually finish school. Kids, Work and school is a lot to juggle on one plate. Also, a lot to pay for. The adults have another thing working against them. Things have changed a lot since they went to school. I feel bad for them, but if I have to sit through one more explanation of how a power point works, or how to find one in BlackBoard....

I'm sure there are others out there like me. Other mid twenties who are working full time and would rather be lounging by the pool then doing homework but are excited about what they are learning in class. I'm hoping we will naturally gravitate towards each other. Then we can bitch about how hard it is to do school and work together.

Some days graduating seems impossible. The amount of years, money and homework appears insurmountable. It's hard not to get discouraged. Especially when it's time for my 07:30am class. I'll never be a morning person. Luckily, I love my classes.

I can't imagine how awful it will be next semester when I'm taking science and math.

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