Monday, August 13, 2012

A Drink of Water

My life isn't all wild adventures and bad ideas.

There are frequent domestic and quiet moments that punctuate my life.

Tonight is one of those moments.

Home from work, a quick workout and cooking, those were my exciting plans for the evening.

Woke a groggy Jess up from her nap and dragged her upstairs to keep my company while I did my Insanity workout (yep, started that nonsense again). She played cheerleader while the dogs wrestled on the bed, occasionally jumping onto the floor to investigate what I was doing and use their wet noses to startle me every time I went into downward dog.

Since I'm trying to be healthier, I've started cooking at home. I haven't cooked with any regularity since I moved in with Ryan for the second time. I used to cook, a lot. First for my family (it was one of my chores), then with a boyfriend who was an amazing cook and I played the part of sou chef pretty well. But I fell out of the habit, mostly because I loathe grocery shopping. But for the sake of saving money and wanting to be in better shape, I found a cookbook, forced myself to enter a grocery store, and have been cooking for about two weeks now.

So after my workout I trudged downstairs and began cooking for the next day. Jess pulled up to the breakfast counter and surprised me by turning on Romero and Juliet. For the next few hours, I chopped and sauteed and burned my fingers while Jess alternated between lovingly watching Leo saunter through Shakespearean prose and debating/discussing other literature that we both love. The evening was calm and soothing and oh so domestic. And I enjoyed it.

I don't have a very peaceful soul. I'm not very good at contentment. Fix and I talked about it the other night, the way we both are unable to accept that this is it, this is all life has to offer us. That work takes up the majority of our day, our week, our lives and we use TV shows and movies and friends to fill the spaces in between. It's a level that we connect on, this yearning, this wanderlust, the need for adrenaline and adventure and madness.

Maybe we've just read too many books about extraordinary people.

So I don't do peaceful very often. But tonight? Tonight was a cool drink of domestic contentment. Sometimes I'm so busy moving, I forget that I'm parched. I'm lucky to have people in my life that remind me that sometimes, slowing down can be a good thing.


Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Life, or Something Like It

The last few months it feel like the theme has been "catch up" or maybe "procrastination".

Paying bills, just barely.
Getting errands done, the last possible day.
Making big decisions, on the fly.

Oh wait, that one is pretty normal for me.

I keep telling myself that I will be more organized.
That I will I make a five year plan and stick with it.
Or stick close to it.
Or at least walk in the general direction of it.

Part of the problem is that Fix is just as restless and adventurous as I could desire. Actually, that's not a problem at all. Well, it's kinda a problem for my bank account. And my obligations. And the whole being responsible thing. But relationship-wise? Not a problem at all. A bonus even.

But maybe procrastination and catching up and being broke but owning awesome toys and crazy memories is what being in your twenties is all about. It's like being a teenager, but with a paycheck to fund your adventures.

Or maybe I'm just really irresponsible.

Yet not that irresponsible. Because my bills are still paid. And the errands are still accomplished. And the decisions... are mostly ignored.

*Shrugs* I'm not complaining. Life has been fun the last few months. There have been roadtrips, danger, laughing, excitement, stupidity, late night talks, new friends, old friends showing up again... and possibilities. New possibilities that I never imagined and a few that maybe I'm just starting to find the courage to embrace.