Every Man is an Island

It's been one of those days. I've been sleep deprived, over worked and the drama that is threatening to spill over into my apartment has caused me to hole up on my couch for the last day and a half. I came home from work yesterday, plopped down onto my couch/nest and officially declared it a drama free zone.

Prior to all the drama, I was on the verge of writing a sappy blog about how I love all my friends. I have spent the last two weeks going out every night or having intimate evenings with my favorites. And in the last few months the numbers of my favorites has exploded. The Boy and I have been positively Gatsby social.
But the drama of Wednesday y morning was too much. And so I've hermitted myself away.

My new friend Tyr gave me 58 days worth of new music. Which only added to my sudden, fierce need to be alone. I made a trip to my favorite used bookstore, the one that has floor to ceiling bookshelves and a secret passage if I only knew which book to pull. I stocked up on books, plugged in Jackson and all his new fabulous music and shut out the world.

It's been lovely.

Bodhi has been the only social interaction I've has today. Despite the heat, we've still gone on long walks, which I completely enjoy. I could walk for hours. So could Bodhi. We're a good match.

Music, books, dog and couch. That's how I've spent all of today.

As always, when I have days that I spend all day in the lovesac of my mind I start to self analyze. Today, I marveled at the walking contradiction that I am.

I am an introvert who is completely infatuated with people.
I'm extremely laid back with a stubborn streak.
I am an adrenaline junkie who does well with routine.
I hate chick flicks but love John Mayer and Ani Defranco.
I want to make a difference in this world but won't touch politics with a ten foot pole/
I loathe the gym but love being active.

And that's just to name a few.

Another self discovery?
I am not a fan of chick flicks. Seriously. It's one of the few genre as a whole that I dislike. I don't even like romantic comedy's. I've given up trying to go see chick flicks because it's been 5+ years since I've seen one that I half way liked. I just can't suspend my disbelief for the whole "love conquers all" swill. this probably isn't the actors or screenwriter faults. I just can't make myself believe that the bad boy who has never treated a woman decently will suddenly change because SHE walked into his life. Well, I could go on and on about all the things i find hard to swallow in chick flicks.

However.

I totally love action movies. Horror, action.. love them. I can suspend my disbelief completely while watching an action film. Guy gets shot through the heart and still manages to kill the bad guy while flying a plane? Of course he can! 100 pound heroine beats the shit out of six foot five bad guy? Absolutley.

Then I had a thought. I've been laughing at all those girls who watch chick flicks and are waiting for their true love to wake them with a kiss out of their lonely lives. All those girls chanting "edward' in their sleep. I've looked down from my high horse and smirked at their naivety. Prince Charming isn't going to come for them. Relationships take a lot of work. Silly girls who watch to many chick flicks.

And that's when I realized. I may not believe in chick flicks. But I believe in action movies with my whole heart. I fully believe and expect the zombie apocalypse to happen any freakin day now. This yearning, this wanderlust that I feel is directly tied to all the movies and books I read. When I travel I don't spend my time in museums. I'm climbing the ruins by the side of the road, I'm falling into waterfalls. I'm sleeping on beaches and narrowly catching trains back into town. I laugh at the girls who believe in love at first sight and yet I fully believe that one day I will get to live like Lara Craft or Indiana Jones.

Shit.
Guess I'll tenderly climb down from my high horse.