Maybe In Another World

I've been dreaming a lot.
Well, I always dream.
But lately the dreams have been filled with a cast of old and forgotten friends.

People I stopped thinking about the minute the door closed.

Or so I thought.

I guess my subconscious had other plans.

More then once I've been dreaming of innocence in the guise of the little kids I was a nanny for on Kona. In my dreams I chase them around in the fields of grass that reach my waist. Their mother is never in my dreams, which I suppose explains the peaceful feelings of the dreams.

Last night I dreamt of a guy that I didn't even officially date. He was someone I "enjoyed" for a few weeks before I left Ireland. It's been years since I've thought about him. Yet last night I dreamt of waking up in his bed. I dreamt that we had a life together. And it was a good life. I wore dresses and heels and he would pick me up, swing me around and kiss me. Often.

A few nights before that I dreamt of a girl that I called my Soul Twin. We worked together years ago and we were inseperatable. We were Will & Grace. For a year. But in my dreams we shared an apartment and watched horror movies and had dance parties in our socks.

Years ago I spent three months in Utah living with one of my favorite people. While I was there I spent two nights talking all night with a guy that lived down the street. Two nights of walking around empty streets and eating bad food from IHOP. I lost my phone the third day, got a new phone, with a new number. I moved out of state two days later. Two months later I found my old phone, charged it and found multiple texts from this guy. I realized I hadn't given him my new number and he had no idea what happened to me. I felt a pang of guilt and then promptly forgot about him. Until this last month. I woke up after dreaming of walking Utah streets with him.


It's been like that all month. People showing up and starring in my dreams that I thought were filed away in a forgotten drawer "of could have been" memories. Thinking about it, all these guest stars that have taken over my dreams, they are all life paths that I could have gone down. If things had been slightly different, maybe I would still be in Hawaii. Or living with someone else.. somewhere else. I believe in free agency, the choice to choose your life. I don't believe in soul mates, or in that we are destined to live our lives a certain way. I do believe there are many paths that we could walk. And these people that are all different paths I could have gone. Not just romantically. But actual lives that I could have lived.

Maybe that's why I keep dreaming about them. I'm feeling restless and nervous and overworked and so my subconcious has been reminding me about these other lives I could have lived with these other people.

Is this what regret feels like?

New House meet everyone. Everyone, Meet New House

Pretty pretty new house.

I just finished my first quiz (online, what a convinence) and aced it. So to celebrate I'll finally post pictures of New House. New House doesn't have a name yet, but give it time.

I had to put this post in two parts because the website only allowed me a certain number of pictures per post and apparently it thinks I'm being excessive. Which I may be, but you have to deal with it.

Ok so first a sneak peek of my library. Cause I love it soo much.

Front of the house. I'm not thrilled with the yard but am grateful for not having to mow grass.

This side view of the house makes it look huge. Which it's not. It's comfy.

So the previous tenants really liked color. We spent the first week painting. All these pictures are the "before" pictures. As you can see, the library was originally green with a blue ceiling. Thank the gods for Erin and Sully and The Boy's dad who all came and helped apply layer after layer of primer.

The stairwell was painted blue and you can see a peek of the loft. Which is a tan-ish brown color. The loft stayed that color, I can deal with tan. The stairwell was painted. I don't do blue walls.

As you can see, the guest room was pink,purple and blue. Now after many many layers of primer it's a respectable white. Jess's bathroom is/was wall to wall neon green.

Jess's room was pink and brown. Brown. Seriously. Also did I forget to mention that bathroom's ceiling was painted neon green too?!

The master bedroom. And our new king sized mattress which I love more then life itself. It's like having my own bed again, only The Boy is still in reaching distance in case of bad dreams. The blue walls were actually all different shades of blue.

And our master bathroom. I'm not a huge fan of the brown, but it does match our cool barren tree shower curtain and frankly we ran out of energy to paint. So it stays. For now.


So that's the before pictures. Scroll down to see the finished downstairs.

New House Part II

So you only get to see the bottom floor because while the second floor has all the big furniture set up, nothing is on the walls and there are more then a few boxes still laying about upstairs. We kind ran out of steam on the whole unpacking thing. There is one (1!) box that is just pantry kitchen stuff and I can't seem to bring myself to put it away. My lazy is in full bloom right now.

Ok so pictures.

First is picture of my library. I heart it. Not sure where the other bookshelves will go though. Good thing The Boy is good with a hammer.

I thought about putting up floor to ceiling bookshelves but I can't bear to cover up that paint after all the work we put into making it not blue and green anymore.

So I love this room divider. Out of all the couches in the house I love sitting there most. I just love being able to talk to Jess while she cooks but still be in my library. Eventually I'll put a cushion on it so my bum is more comfortable.

A new table is on my list of wants/needs. But more likely it will just be a new table cloth.

Our cute kitchen. Already getting a lot of use

Jess's couch and my chair. That's the official homework chair. It just swallows me and all my notebooks and books.

View from the sliding glass door that leads to our backyard. Which you can't see yet cause it's just dirt. And a fire pit. But just wait. That's our next project.

So this is the other side of the library. Soon there will be more bookshelves where that mirror is. Also, that door that is 3 stairs up is a half bath. How cute right?

View from the stairs

And the guest bathroom!


I promise more pictures of the upstairs, but not until there are less boxes.

Quick update

Sorry for the radio silence. Moving, Holidays and overtime at work has left me completely uninspired to write and/or record the events of the last few weeks.

I'm sitting in our loft, on the floor because Qwest hates me and sent me a modem but not a wireless one. So I sit on the floor. I'm sitting between two TV's as well. Four males face me, screaming and yelling at the screens while they protect the world from the zombies that threaten to overrun us all. Based off their yelling, I think we may be safe for another day. Bodhi is sleeping through all of this, sleeping soundly on my foot. Jess is downstairs, working out. Her two pups, Raine and London are pacing around the house trying to figure out why everyone is yelling.

I love the new house. Love. Love. Love

It's full of people and dogs and noisy and quiet, it just depends on where you are in the house. I have a library. Folks, I HAVE A LIBRARY. And a living room. And a loft. Oh, and a master bedroom. As if I was running out of space. Give me another day or two and I will post all sorts of pictures that won't do it justice.


Oh, and I signed up for school yesterday. It was terrifying and frustrating and terrifying. Part of me is soo excited. Yay to be learning again. Yay to moving on to phase two of my five year plan. Yay to filling my days with productive activity. The other part of me is agahst. I just paid how much money?!? To go to school?! Why am I paying money to learn things? I have google. I don't need to learn things. And why is it all soo expensive?!

Breathe

I celebrated signing up for classes by going to lunch with the boy and friends and day drinking. Which turned into night drinking. Which turned into Sam worshipping the toilet.

That doesn't cover half of the things I need to catch up on. But I am le tired and slightly sick. I'm going to curl up in my chair in my library and read until my eyes close. Then let The Boy bring me upstairs into our comfy bed in our comfy room in our fabulous (and comfy) house.

Yeah, I think this year is going to be just fine.