My witness is the empty sky....

Balance
I've never been very good at finding and incorporating that in my life, balancing.
I have far too many passions and not nearly enough time and money.

"I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.” - Jack Kerouac

Since moving here the name of the game has been indulge, often and with enthusiasm. We've been soft and easy life. We've indulged ourselves in finding the perfect Indian food, the perfect cheese board, the perfect crepes, the perfect coffee. We've indulged ourselves in Netflicks, absorbing TV shows with a ravenous appetite.  We take lazy walks on the beach with the dogs and work at a desk and sit in coffee shops with friends. Or sit at kava with friends. Or hang out at the tattoo shop with friends.  

It's been nice, letting my body and mind reset and relax. But I'm getting too relaxed. My mind and body feel soft with all this indulgence. My brain and emotions are getting fuzzy and complacent. When I think of the last few months everything is tinged in sunset colors. It's been lovely. But I'm starting to get this itch, to push myself. I want to find the cliffs of this city and jump off them.

I feel accomplished and happy when my body is pushed to its limits. When I am bruised and broken. Getting into shape, being in shape is something I work for because it fits the image I want. I don't want to be a size 0, I want to be that character that survives the apocalypse. I want my body to look and be capable of swimming and climbing and hiking the Inca Trail. My life has been soft and easy these past few months. But I'm ready for adrenaline again. For extremes. I want  my body lean and strong from surfing and hiking and just being active all over. I want to try to do longer rides, to get my body accustomed to being on the bike for hours and miles at a time.

I'm not done with this city by a long shot.
What I'm feeling isn't wanderlust.
I just need a little less Gatsby and a little more Bear Grills.
Yeah. That's what I need

And maybe someday I'll learn to balance the two lifestyles I love and crave. Learn to have both at once. Learn balance.