Sunday, August 22, 2010

Never Satisfied

Now that I am a dog owner I have a new list of wants/needs

Things I wish someone would invent:
1)A door opener that I can push from my car that opens my apartment door, guide the dog down three flights of stairs and straight to my car.
God I hate leaving my car to walk up three flights of stairs, greet the dog, put leash on the dog, walk back down three stories and convince the car to start again.

2)A retractable leash the dog can't chew through.
Yes I know they have chains, but the retractable leashes are sooo handy. I want both in one handy dandy leash.

3)An air conditioned dog park.
I hate the summer in Arizona.

4)Doggy daycare at the gym.
Hey, they do a baby daycare, so why not? I'm sure teenagers would much rather play with my dog then your crying,pooping baby.

5) An extra room that is just for dog food.
Seriously, I need a whole room. I hate buying/carrying dog food home. I always buy the biggest bag so it will last longer. Problem is I live on the third floor. So I end up carrying a sixty pound bag that is half of my body weight up three floors (have I mentioned the three f*&king stories yet?) while an over eager dog pulls on the only short leash he hasn't chewed through yet.

6) A doggy car seat.
I would take the dog EVERYWHERE with me if I could. I do take him most places. Often those places end up with him being muddy. Which I can't blame him, since I'm usually muddy too. However, I don't roll around the backseat on the way home. (well.. sometimes, but only if The Boy came with us). I've tried laying down a towel, but he's too active and it just ends up on the floor. My poor poor backseat.

7) A whistle that lets the dog know when to attack and when not too.
The dog is such a good guard dog that he tries to eat The Boy when he smacks my boy short underwear clad ass in the morning. Which was funny the first time. But a big part of The Boy and I's relationship is built on roughhousing. We are constantly wrestling. And I'd really like it if The Boy didn't lose his hand. So a whistle that lets him know when we are playing and when to attack... That would be awesome


8) A magic pill that makes my hair grow faster.
Ok, this isn't really dog related but I'm tired of my short hair and am pissed it won't grow faster. Why can't I have hair like Joanna's?!


Ok smart people. Get inventing!

1 comment:

  1. Lol and here i thought it was a bad thing to not have a hair cut/style last longer than a few weeks :-)

    PS a retractable chain can have so much more use than just a leash. Like if it were attached to a huge metal fist like on Hell boy II.

    ReplyDelete