The memory is a little blurry, but I can remember sitting in a classroom, probably freshman or sophomore year of high school and learning about the four essential needs to survive. I think they consisted of: Air, Water, Food, and Shelter. Possibly there were five needs, the fifth being family or education or fire
But the educators were very clear on one thing.
Sex was not an essential need to survive.
The rest of the lesson dissolved into a sex ed class. So I guess I should be grateful that the memory is a blurry, as those classes are never comfortable.
Something triggered that memory the other day and I started thinking about what was necessary to my well being. I mean, I have Air (little smoggy some days but not as bad as California), I have Water (Gilbert water is pretty gross but there's always filtered options), I have Food (most days, the amount varies the farther out from payday it gets), and I have Shelter (an adorable little house with shaggy mutts, a pixy of a roommate and my coveted california king sized bed).
I have the basics down, and the basics are not fulfilling my emotional needs. I'm not unhappy but as usual, I'm yearning. My skin feels too tight and my life lacks flexibility right now. The big problem is not that I don't know what I want, it's that I want too many things.
List of things that I want:
Suzuki Boulevard motorcycle
Debts paid off
Car paid off
Personal chef
New wardrobe
More books
Run a Tough Mudder
Move to Seattle
Travel more . Lots more.
Hike Appalachian Trail
Finish school
Those are just from the top of my head.
I've started focusing on trying to define exactly what I need in my daily life, what will give me the illusion of content. At least until I finish school. I've narrowed it down to a somewhat fluid list.
List of small things to keep me entertained
Doing something reckless, maybe once a week, minimum once a month.
Real conversations, I don't care if it's talking books or dissecting a personality
Sunshine
Time with my puppy
New Books
Water, pools or beach
So small goal for the next few months, to try to keep a combination of the above things in my life. See if any of them make a cocktail of calm. Maybe I can narrow it down to exactly what is necessary to my well being survival.
Oh and the instructors lied.
Sex is totally necessary
