Saturday, September 24, 2011

Dreaming Big

I've been making plans.
Wild plans.
Plans that I didn't think would see the light of day.

But it turns out that things are shaping up to be a perfect storm of oppertunity.
So many things falling in just the right places.
And Jess is just as foolhardy, adventures, wild and crazy as a girl could ask for.

I don't want to say anything yet. Don't want to jinx it.
But as soon as it stops being a dream and progresses to the planning stages
and it's almost there
I'll tell you all about it.

You'll be so proud.
And horrified
And maybe a little jealous

Is it the smart thing to do? Maybe not. But I've been smart for three years now. And I don't know if an oppertunity like this will come around again in the next ten years. Hell, I didn't expect it to fall into my lap, not at this point in my life. But the cliff is there... just waiting for me to jump. And for the first time ever, I have a partner who is willing to jump with me.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011


With slight changes...

Hey Andy and/or other musically gifted friends. Think you could update this song with less country and more blues/rockabilly for me. I'd adore you for ever if you could

I ain't never been with a man long enough
For my boots to get old
We've been together so long now
They both need resoled

If I ever settle down
You'd be my kind
And it's a good time for me
To head on down the line

Heard it in a love song [3x]
Can't be wrong

I'm the kinda woman likes to get away
Like to start dreaming about
Tomorrow, today
Never said that I love you
even though it's so
Where's that duffle bag of mine?
It's time to go

Heard it in a love song [3x]
Can't be wrong

I'm gonna be leaving
At the break of dawn
Wish you could come
But I don't need no man tagging along
I'll sneak out that door
Couldn't stand to see you cry
I'd stay another year if I saw teardrops in your eyes

Heard it in a love song [3x]
Can't be wrong

I never had a damn thing, but what I had
I had to leave it behind
You're the hardest thing
I ever tried to get off my mind
Always something greener on the other side of that hill
I was born a wrangler and a rounder
And I guess I always will

Heard it in a love song [3x]
Can't be wrong

Friday, September 2, 2011

An Ode to Little Miss

I was twelve when Sierra was born. I had to wait through four brothers before I finally got the little sister I had been asking for. Her timing was a little rough though. In order to bring her into this world mom had her first C-section and Dad had surgery on his back just days before. So I spent the first two weeks of her life holding her. With both parental units bedridden I was the one walking the floors with the newborn. I discovered that the giant exercise balls was perfect to sit on and bounce a crying baby while watching black and white movies. Looking back on it I realize two things. 1) that ball and constant bouncing is probably the reason Sierra will never suffer motion sickness. 2) I'm shocked I didn't kill us both with that ball.

I used to sing Sierra to sleep almost every night and to this day she is still the only one who knows just how awful my voice is. When I got home from dance practice I'd hold her in my arms and walk through the steps in the kitchen (tile makes spinning easier). And I watched Lion King over and over again with her while discreetly working on homework.

One night stands out clearly. Sierra was about one and a half, maybe two years old. I was trying to get her to lay down for the night. She had the giggles, was just plain slap happy. Her laughter was bright, happy and innocent and so very infectious. And just as suddenly she curled up in my lap and cashed out. I sat there with her against my chest for an hour, just holding her warm little body. I remember thinking, as long as she is happy and loves me... that's all I need in my life. I will have lived my life right if I can keep her that way.

Adults have been telling me since I was 19 that my biological clock will start ticking. Any day now. But what they don't understand is that I already raised my family. I already had my baby. And she's 14 years old and beautiful and sweet and smart as a whip. She's a swimmer and already swimming varsity even though she's a freshman.

Congrats on your first high school swim meet little squirt.