I'm a big fan of sleep.
My deep love of naps is epic sonnet material.
But I don't actually sleep all that much. Maybe it's because I'm such a fan of naps. For the last three years in fact I've done most of my sleeping in four hour sets. Partly its because there is just too much to see and soo much to do. And read. And watch.
But just because I ignore you sleep, doesn't mean I don' t love you. I mean, don't I buy you nice things like expensive pillows, super soft foam pads. Remember the amazing blanket I bought for you in Mexico? I may ignore you but at least I buy you presents.
Also, Sleeping WITH people is interesting to me. Yes, I'm talking about actually sleeping.
When I was in junior high I met the Taylors. Mckenna and Mel... two sisters who shared all my secrets and jokes and love. When we would do sleepovers, which was at least once a week, we slept three to a bed because we couldn't bear to be seperated. Most of the time Jewels would join us too. So three girls side by side in a queen sized bed, and little Mel laying the opposite way on our feet. Even though I'm from a big family I had never slept in that close of quarters before. I loved it. I remember falling asleep whispering secrets mid sentance. Waking up and actually feeling someone else's physical warmth next to you. It was peaceful. I've always liked people. And I loved those girls.
Those summers were spent at beach houses. With the Garrards and my family. Austin and I would spend all day together and when night fell, we would talk until our voices gave out. I'd sleep on the couch and him on the floor next to me. Occasionally he'd pull me off the couch and we'd wrestle for the couch while trying to keep our giggles and shrieks quiet so we would wake any of the other mass of kids that were sleeping on the floor with us. But eventually we'd quiet down, and that's when I first learned that in the darkness and safety of the night people will share things that never see the light of day.
Then I was in high school. And there were boys. And boyfriends. Kissing and relationships were new and exciting. Then one day while watching a movie I fell asleep while curled up in a boys arms. For the first time in years there was no nightmares.
I was hooked.
That's probably when I fell in love with naps. Falling asleep while in someone's arm was like a drug. A few years later I learned sleeping next to someone wasn't all sunshine. Years later and miles down the road, I was in a Reservation Road Relationship. It was bad. I remember not being able to sleep and looking down at him. Realizing that I couldn't touch him while he slept. Not emotionally anyway. That while he slept and I was in the waking world we were apart. Nothing I could do would affect him. How lonely that was. Then realizing that even when we were both awake together.. that there was no way to touch him. That awake or asleep, we were in different worlds.
I chose to sleep alone for a long time after that relationship.
Then there was a year of fun and sun. Working with my friends, partying with my friends. Sleeping with my friends. Ryan use to peek in every morning to see what girlfriend was sharing my bed that night. He teased me, saying that having sleepovers was my way of avoiding relationships. Maybe he was right. But I loved waking up next to a friend, laying in bed and giggling about the things that had happened the night before. On nights when I didn't go out I would creep into Ryan's room with two bottles of Mike's lemonade and an episode of Burn Notice and trick him into sharing his bed while we learned how to be spies from Mr.Michael Weston. I'd make a pillow wall down the middle of his bed, so that we'd get equal sides of the bed and that way Ryan couldn't try to steal more then his share. In the morning I'd wake up to a wall of pillows on top of me and Ryan diagonally across the bed.
The summer I lived with Lachelle we lived in the basement of a house with these teeny tiny little single beds. One week we were both sick and I remember crowding into her bed with her, drinking tea and comparing music. The two of us only fit in that bed if we were both on our sides, but we knew that we felt icky and that human touch can be as healing as nyquil sometimes.
Now there is The Boy. Our sleep schedules are not harmonious in the least. I'm on a mids shift, he's on graveyard. I adore and love our couch and could sleep on it every night. He hates the couch and loves the bed. Get this, he doesn't even like naps. What?! He has to sleep with a sheet tucked into all the corners of the bed, w/ two pillows, two more blankets on top of him and the air on freezing. I like to sleep with one soft blanket, wrapped between my legs with my feet sticking out over the bed and using only a third of my pillow. But I love falling asleep next to him.
Because of our schedules it doesn't get to happen that often.
When it does... it's a bit of a circus.
We have to sleep with two different blankets, so he can be tucked in and I can be free. Then one blanket over on top of our other blankets. We fall asleep sweetly. Then as the night progress, I wake up freezing cause he's stolen the top blanket. Or I wake up smashed into the wall because The Boy likes to.. spread.. out... A lot of the time I wake him up from yelling in my sleep and he has to wake me up and calm me down. So our sleep patterns are not exactly peaceful.
I still love it.
I've lived alone before. I've even lived with someone but felt alone.
But sleeping next to people is a joy and why I will probably always live with someone.
Because beds, and secrets, are meant to be shared.
