Wednesday, July 17, 2013

My witness is the empty sky....

I've never been very good at finding and incorporating that in my life, balancing.
I have far too many passions and not nearly enough time and money.

"I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.” - Jack Kerouac

Since moving here the name of the game has been indulge, often and with enthusiasm. We've been soft and easy life. We've indulged ourselves in finding the perfect Indian food, the perfect cheese board, the perfect crepes, the perfect coffee. We've indulged ourselves in Netflicks, absorbing TV shows with a ravenous appetite.  We take lazy walks on the beach with the dogs and work at a desk and sit in coffee shops with friends. Or sit at kava with friends. Or hang out at the tattoo shop with friends.  

It's been nice, letting my body and mind reset and relax. But I'm getting too relaxed. My mind and body feel soft with all this indulgence. My brain and emotions are getting fuzzy and complacent. When I think of the last few months everything is tinged in sunset colors. It's been lovely. But I'm starting to get this itch, to push myself. I want to find the cliffs of this city and jump off them.

I feel accomplished and happy when my body is pushed to its limits. When I am bruised and broken. Getting into shape, being in shape is something I work for because it fits the image I want. I don't want to be a size 0, I want to be that character that survives the apocalypse. I want my body to look and be capable of swimming and climbing and hiking the Inca Trail. My life has been soft and easy these past few months. But I'm ready for adrenaline again. For extremes. I want  my body lean and strong from surfing and hiking and just being active all over. I want to try to do longer rides, to get my body accustomed to being on the bike for hours and miles at a time.

I'm not done with this city by a long shot.
What I'm feeling isn't wanderlust.
I just need a little less Gatsby and a little more Bear Grills.
Yeah. That's what I need

And maybe someday I'll learn to balance the two lifestyles I love and crave. Learn to have both at once. Learn balance.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Sunshine And Saturdays

I work Saturday nights. So I sleep most of Saturday.
I try to ignore the sunshine.
And the fun.
So that I am a pleasant person to be around at work that night.

But sometimes, you need to play.

So last Saturday day was spent in the sunshine, on a old, rarely used road, watching the boys play with their Harley's. Kristin and I opened up her jeep to let the breeze circulate while we watched and cheered from the back and danced to music.  After, there was boba tea and mexican food.

And much later, there was work. And a cranky Sam

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Daily Life In Our Closet By The Sea

Daily life

I'm only one state away but everything feels so fresh..
Like someone put the joy back into every day life.
I'm fully aware that many of my daily routines could have (and possibly were) done in Arizona.
And maybe it's just the ocean air. Or just the placebo of being in a different place.
But everything feels so new.

Mornings: normally start at 2pm or 3pm
Breakfast is steel cut oats and fresh fruit or sometime eggs and fresh avocados. I'm finding that I can not get enough fresh fruit or avocados. There is a small store that I walk to that only sells fruit and veggies and keeps me happily munching all day long
Workout: I'm trying to be better about this, living in a beach city means I need a beach body. And I've let sitting at a desk sideline me for the last year. So I'm trying to do P90X2 or Insanity five days a week. I hate it, but I love it.
Depending on how the fridge looks I may go grocery shopping, sometimes clean the house and if it's a slow day, get an hour of tv or internet time. Blake gets home about 5pm or 6pm and he'll make us a green juice smoothie (yep we're those people now) of some kind while we talk about work and friends.

Work: I'm still dispatching, but it's mostly medical now. Back to working graveyards, which kills my social life but is so much better than the 5am shift I was working before. Maybe I'm just so relieved to not be waking up at 3am but I don't feel as burned out working the night shift as I did a year ago. We've got a good crew on the night shift, although I miss my Tempe friends in a bad way.  My job is located in a business area surrounded by hills, so on my hour lunches I normally just pop my headphones in and walk and explore. The moonlight and the surrounding stillness is good for my restless soul.

Evenings: I get home about 5:30am and the dogs get walked first thing. Sometimes it's a job, more often than not it's a walk. Either way I explore this place I now call home, finding new shops and restaurants, dreaming about living in the cute houses and loving all the street art that decorates this place. Sometimes I load up the Monster and we go to the beach and enjoy walking in the sand and water, it's usually pretty empty so we have the beach all to ourselves. Even with the cold water I love, love the beach in the morning.

Weekends: I don't sleep much on the weekends. Too much to do. Usually there will be motorcycles and sunny rides, coffee shops and friends, beach and books and mutts, too much good food, tattoo shops and kava, lots of Fix time, and the occasional movie. By the time the weekend is over I am exhausted, happy, sun burnt and very broke.

God I love it here